I ain’t no Michael Jackson that’s for sure,
but I sure as hell like to daance.
Some people say to me…why do you always want
to daance on tables/bars/seats and all I say is…because it makes me feel good,
real good. Sure it has got me kicked out of bars a fair few times, but shit I
have had some fun.
I have cut mad shapes in random places all
over the world, but when I was diagnosed with bipolar; it was the first time I
have ever danced in hospital. To start with, it sure as hell wasn’t a happy
dance. When I first got admitted to hospital, I was so angry at everything –
just throwing shit at the wall...screaming fuck shit how did this happen?? I’m
not usually an angry person, haven’t thrown a punch in my life, but all I wanted
to do was punch the wall in. The thing with bipolar is that when you’re at the
high end (manic), you think you are going to save the world and you are partying
on this big happy rainbow. Then when you realise the shit storm is hitting, I
can’t even explain how it feels and I don’t ever want to have to feel that pain
again.
My first step towards getting a smile back
on my face, was a visit from my Mum (Ali), Dad (Brucey) and big bro (Aaron). When
they arrived they brought with them a whole lot of love, cheeseburgers and my
big headphones and Ipod. There is not much to do in the mental
health ward, I was bored shitless, especially when you can’t relax because they dose you up so much
on medication. I would hang out every
day for the visits from my family. My family
are the biggest legends and their visits every single day and their amazing love is the reason I am here writing
this blog. There is another thing that helped me survive in hospital and that
is my love of music and dancing.
After the legends dropped off my tunes the
next visit they came in and found me cutting mad shapes all around the hospital
lounge. I had made a bandana out of a towel and was going to town, just having
this epic dance off with myself. I think I got kicked out of that side of the
ward for dancing too hard. When everyone else had gone to bed and I couldn’t
sleep, I would sneak out into the lounge and go mad, just cutting a rug to all
kinds of music…. It was crazy, I just felt so in tune with the music and was
listening to songs that had a really positive message and it got me so psyched.
It was the first time when I thought, yeah shit I have bipolar, but fuck it, at
least I know what it is now, so I can sure as hell can beat it. If I was starting to feel down in hospital, I
would just grab my headphones and daance and I would all of a sudden forget about all the shit
going on. They say daancing good gets you the girls. I'm not that good, so I don't know if that's right, but I sure as hell know that dancing like mad, makes you laugh your ass off!! There was one song that I got hooked on and is
the inspiration for this blog. Go have a little daance to it if you like cutting shapes and bear
hugs…
Yewww!! I just had a call from my amigo
Robbie to say we are going to have a little daance off with the biggest legend
ever Tommy Franklin aka Byron Bay Dancing Man in Bondi tomorrow morning…Hells
yeah!!! So thank you to my amazing family and
friends, for bringing the love and the music when I was nearly down and out…because
that made me daance and daancing makes me happy:)))xx
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