Why is asking for help so damn hard?

I don’t know what it is about the word ‘help’ but it has to be one of the hardest words to get out of your mouth. I mean who wants to admit that they are struggling? Who wants to show they might have a weakness?

Suffering from a mental health issue like depression or anxiety is not a weakness, it is a sign you have been battling on your own for far too long. Asking for help is actually one of the bravest things you will ever do.

I remember the first time I asked for help. It took me 10 years of suffering from anxiety and depression to do this and I was shitting myself. I had done a presentation that day at work and I thought I had really fucked it up. Apparently I hadn’t screwed it up at all, it was actually all in my head but my anxiety was telling me that I had. For some reason that day I told my girlfriend at the time I needed to go to the doctor and get help. I was so done with anxiety taking over my life. It was crazy, on a good day nothing worried me at work, getting up and presenting was sweet as, but on a bad day I couldn’t even reply to an email or some days couldn’t even get out of bed for work.

In the waiting room in the doctors that day I felt like such a failure. Here’s a guy with an amazing family and friends, good job who should be loving life about to admit that he is struggling when nothing is actually wrong. WTF? But here’s the thing… mental health issues like depression don’t discriminate, you can have what looks like the most amazing life on the outside but on the inside every day is a battle with the negative thoughts inside your head.

That day was actually the first time I started to get better. As soon as I told the doctor... look I’m really really struggling at the moment and I don’t know why? She said "if you go outside and walk down the street right now it looks like everyone is loving life, but the thing is everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. So many people are hurting on the inside but don’t ask for help because they are embarrassed. You asking for help today is the the one thing that is going to help you get better". That actually changed my life…for once I didn’t feel like a failure for not being happy, for once I didn’t blame myself, for once it felt ok not to be ok.

I guess the reason why I’m writing this is to let you know that no matter how much you are struggling, you’re not alone and there is always someone that has your back. All you need to do is ask. So make sure you do because the World needs more good humans like you.