Saltwater Therapy...

When Mum & Dad picked me up from hospital in Manly, all I could think about was grabbing my board and going for a surf. I wanted to get in the ocean, so I could just chill and forget about all the sad shit, that just gone down.

I grabbed my surfboard and headed out at Manly. The crazy thing was when I got out in the surf; I couldn't even stand up on my board, because my legs were so weak from the medication. I didn't even care; I just lay out back and chilled out. We then went and hired paddled boards, because I had to stand up and shit it felt good when I did. After being trapped in hospital, I felt free again and could finally relax. 

After a couple of nights in Manly we went to Bondi to pack up my stuff and jumped on a plane back to NZ. It was so fuckin sad leaving Sydney. In 2 weeks I had gone from having what I thought was an epic life, to leaving with a few bags, my surfboards and being diagnosed with something called bipolar. After 2 years in Sydney, I didn't know whether I would be back again and I didn't even get to say goodbye to some of my mates. That's the crazy thing about mental illness, most people don't know how to talk about it, so they avoid it and it just gets hidden away. I felt so lonely and lost leaving Sydney, but one thing I knew in my heart was, I wasn't going to let bipolar beat me. I was so so determined to come back to Sydney and have a rad life again.

I am so lucky where my parents live in NZ. It is this chilled out little beachtown called Mount Maunganui, where a whole lot of legends live. The perfect place to recover and get my life back on track. From Mum & Dads place, I could just grab my board and run down for a surf.  When I first got back to NZ, I was struggling to sit still for longer than 5 minutes and could hardly sleep, because the medication was too strong and it made me heaps edgy. Every morning I would sit watching out the window, waiting for the sun to come up, so I could go get some waves with my Dad Brucey and my mates. Shit it felt so good to be back out there surfing again and it really helped me relax and forget about everything.  I pretty much would surf all day errrday. I had so much energy and honestly I started to smile again and started to think, fuck I’m gonna beat this bipolar thing. I would catch one good wave and I couldn't stop thinking about it. That wave would keep me so stoked until the next surf and would help me forget about all the sad shit that just happened.

 I didn't know it at the time, but a life changing moment for me happened when I was surfing at my favourite place in the world Matakana Island, with my Dad and my mates.  I had talked to my Dad in the surf before about Bipolar, but I had never told my mates. I was out the back and I was talking to my good mate Ashman and started to tell him the real reason I was back home was because I have got bipolar. He was so damn rad, so supportive and didn't judge me at all. I remember catching a wave after that and thinking fuck yeah, that felt so good just to get it off my chest. Then I was paddling back out, grinning and shit and my good mate Andy was like… shit bro sorry did I hear you say that you have bipolar? I was like yeah man, but its all good, at least I know what I have to deal with now ay. He was such a legend. Pretty much said bro it's gonna be all good. We have got your back, anytime you want to go for a wave or you need to yarn, I am here for ya.

They say in life it's all about finding the right recipe. I know for me that part of the right recipe is living near the ocean and surfing everyday ‘Saltwater therapy’. I have also learn’t that, if you put yourself out there, you will get a whole lot of love and kindness back.  My family, my close mates and the ocean have been there for me no matter what and that's what life is all about.

THANKS LEGENDS...Because of you guys, I am smiling again and that feels so effin rad!! I have got your back 4LyfJ Yeww!!

BIG BIG LOVE XX